Quinn - Reflecting on "Parenting By Ikea and Becoming a Man"

In my journal entry, my demarcation for crossing into adulthood was intrinsically different than how most Americans think of their coming of age. As I've previously written about, most Americans point to turning a particular age as the start of adulthood. It could be at 16 or 18 or 26. I've also heard of people who point to particular events like graduating college or buying their first home or apartment or getting married or getting their first job. My coming of age seems to be unique. I focused on my father venting to me. Adulthood, for me, was not an achievement like becoming a husband or homeowner. It wasn't even an inevitability, like turning 21. Adulthood was a gift that had to be bestowed to me. I didn't earn it or arrive at adulthood. I received it. That has some parallels with the ceremonies I saw in the Navajo ceremony for the girl becoming a woman. An integral aspect of the rituals was the giving of several blessings. Blessings are always given to the one who is blessed.

One interesting implication of my coming-of-age experience is that I could have gone my entire life without having such a moment. It is possible to think of myself as a 45-year-old homeowner with a wife and kids and a full-time job living just like any other adult, yet without my "coming-of-age" experience. Would that hypothetical me not be considered an adult? Is it possible to be a full grown man but not a man? I don't want to render words like "adulthood" and "manhood" meaningless. Rather, I'm offering an alternative understanding of these concepts. According to my experience, one becomes an adult when another adult treats one as an equal. Maybe. I'm just rambling.

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